


Fools Fall In Love

by carolinecrane



Series: stupid cupid [3]
Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-17
Updated: 2011-02-17
Packaged: 2017-10-15 17:52:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/163338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part of the Stupid Cupid universe. How Ares and Joxer met and fell in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fools Fall In Love

“Son, I know this is still hard for you.” Ares let out a frustrated sigh and ran one hand through thick, dark hair. He frowned idly as he realized how long it was getting, wondering whether he’d crossed the line yet between cultivating a look and just looking unkempt. “Your mom and I can’t live together. We tried and it just didn’t work.”

“I know that, Dad,” Cupid said, rolling his eyes with the dramatic impact that only a fourteen-year-old could manage. His son was the only person in the free world that had ever been able to make him feel clueless, and he just hoped Cupid would grow out of his ‘I’m a teenager and I know more than you’ phase soon. “I know why you broke up in the first place, I’m not dumb.”

Ares resisted the urge to say something churlish about the way Cupid was acting, remembering just in time exactly how far that would get him with his son. It wasn’t going to do either of them any good for him to pick a fight, especially not while they were sitting in a crowded deli. He was starting to regret taking Cupid to a neighborhood place where everyone knew him instead of going into Manhattan where it wouldn’t matter as much if Cupid decided to have a tantrum and embarrass them both.

“No, you’re not dumb, Cupid. Frankly your intelligence frightens me sometimes. But I don’t really see what this has to do with…”

Another roll of the eyes and a drawn-out sigh let Ares know he’d said exactly the wrong thing. “That’s because you’re not listening,” Cupid said a little more loudly than he needed to. “You never listen to me.”

Ares bit back his initial reaction, which would have lost him a few points with his son and possibly made someone in the deli dig out their cell phone for a quick call to the cops. Or Social Services. The urge to shake the annoying teen angst out of Cupid got a little stronger every time he visited, and even though Ares couldn’t put his finger on exactly when his son had started to change he wished he’d hurry up and grow out of it. “I’m listening now,” he finally hissed through gritted teeth.

“Forget it.”

This time Ares did roll his eyes, but it didn’t matter because Cupid wasn’t even looking at him anymore. He was slumped on the other side of the booth, arms crossed dramatically over his chest and his bottom lip puffed out in a pout that only his mother could love. In fact when he did that he looked remarkably like Dite, and Ares had to close his eyes for a long moment before he tried again. “Son, let’s not do this, okay? You’re going back to Neptune this afternoon, can we just enjoy the last few hours of your visit?”

“You don’t understand anything,” Cupid snarled without looking over at Ares. It was obvious from the way his voice wavered that he was trying not to cry, and suddenly Ares felt like the worst father ever. The whole weekend had been a series of little fits on Cupid’s part, though, and no matter how hard he tried Ares hadn’t been able to get out of him what was bothering him. “I don’t even know why I wanted to live with you. You’re just as bad as Mom.”

Shock flooded Ares’ senses, making him blink at the miserable mass of blond hair and golden skin slumping even further in the booth. His heart soared at the idea that Cupid wanted to move in with him, but the feeling turned quickly to guilt. There was no way Cupid could come live with him in the city, they’d decided all this when Dite kicked him out and filed for divorce. He couldn’t watch Cupid every minute and the trouble he could get into in the city made even Ares shudder. Still, at least he was finally getting a small clue as to what had been bothering his son so much lately. If he wasn’t getting along with his mother it was natural that he’d want to move in with Ares, at least until he decided that compared to his dad Dite hadn’t been nearly so bad.

“Cupid…do you know how much I love hearing that you want to come stay with me? But you know why it can’t happen. Your mom would miss you so much, and then there’s school…”

“I hate school,” Cupid snapped, casting a furtive glare at Ares before he went back to his staring contest with the floor. “The other kids are all losers and all they do is make fun of me because…”

Cupid trailed off, guilt replacing his dark scowl just long enough for Ares to understand what he wasn’t saying. His heart dropped into his stomach and he blinked against a sudden stinging at the corners of his eyes. He’d known this was coming, in fact he was surprised it had taken two years for Cupid to start resenting what his father had done to his life. No amount of telling himself to expect it could have prepared him for the reality that he was the source of his son’s misery, though.

“I’m sorry, Cupid. I wish I could do something to change this, to make it easier for you. You shouldn’t have to pay for my mistakes.”

“It’s not that.” Cupid’s voice was so soft that Ares could barely make out his words, and he wasn’t sure if there was something else on his son’s mind or if he was just feeling guilty for making Ares feel responsible for his problems.

“Then what is it, son?”

Cupid looked up at him then, his expression so open and raw that Ares stopped breathing for a second. Then Cupid frowned down at the table and it was gone again, and Ares was left wondering if he’d just imagined it. “Nothing. Can we just go?”

Ares swallowed a sigh and nodded, standing up and following Cupid through the crowd toward the front of the deli. He knew he should have said no, that they needed to talk about this. He should have pressed Cupid to tell him the truth until he finally annoyed it out of him, but there were only a few hours left of his visit and Ares didn’t really want to spend it arguing. Besides, they had the whole train ride back to New Jersey for Cupid to brood and ignore him, and if Ares really pushed it the trip back would be even more unpleasant than usual.

They stopped by Ares’ loft long enough to pick up Cupid’s things, Ares’ mind racing as he tried to think of anything to say to at least ease the tension between them a little. The longer the silence stretched out between them the harder it was to come up with a way to break it that didn’t seem stupid, though, so by the time they boarded the train at Penn Station he’d given up. Cupid spent almost the entire train ride back to Jersey staring out the window, giving one-word answers to all Ares’ questions about school and his friends. By the time they got to Dite’s house Ares was actually looking forward to seeing his ex-wife, just to hear the sound of another voice.

When they reached the house Cupid went right inside and headed straight for his room, grunting something that might have been ‘goodbye’ in Ares’ direction before he disappeared up the stairs. Ares waited until he heard the door slam behind his son before he let out a frustrated sigh and handed Cupid’s bag to Dite.

“Is he on drugs or something?” The strange thing was that part of him was actually hoping she’d say yes, at least that would explain Cupid’s sudden personality change.

“He’s a teenager, Ares,” Dite snapped, but her expression softened a little when she took in her ex-husband’s haggard expression. “School’s been hard for him lately, he’s outgrowing his friends and spending more time alone. You’re not around all the time so the changes seem bigger to you. He’s been like this for awhile. It’s normal for teenagers to go through these kinds of growing pains.”

Ares resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his ex-wife’s psychoanalysis of their son. She’d been a marriage and family therapist for so long that it necessarily carried over to her own family, but that didn’t help Ares resent any less her calm approach to the Cupid-shaped demon that had replaced their son. “Maybe he could come into the city more often, get his mind off things at school. I could take him again next weekend.”

Dite frowned and Ares braced himself for what was coming. Part of him thought he deserved it after what he’d done to her, but it got a little harder to listen to her put him down every time he asked for more time with his son. He knew he wasn’t that far from snapping and blowing up at her, and he didn’t want to do that when Cupid was in the house. He didn’t really want to do it at all, but they’d known each other for so long that she knew exactly which buttons to push.

“I don’t want him around your men,” she said, her dainty nose wrinkling on the last word. “It’s not good for him to see that.”

“We’ve been over this enough, Dite,” Ares said, carefully lowering his voice so Cupid wouldn’t hear them. “My life is my business. You know me better than to think I’d put our son in a situation that would endanger him.”

“It’s confusing for him,” she said, talking over him as though he hadn’t even said anything. “Seeing you with a different man every time he comes into the city – I don’t want him getting the impression that that’s a healthy way to live.”

He gritted his teeth and let the comment slide, knowing he wouldn’t be able to back down from an argument after the weekend he’d had. She knew him well enough to know he kept his love life separate from the time he spent with his son, so he could only assume her lectures about his lifestyle were her way of getting back at him for turning out to be a different man than the one she’d thought she married. If he could take it all back he would have…all but Cupid. He wouldn’t trade their son for anything; all the years of trying to deny who he was and the two years of misery since their divorce were worth it as long as Cupid was in their lives.

“No men, I know the ground rules. I can pick him up on Friday after school.”

“This weekend isn’t good,” Dite said, although she looked just regretful enough for Ares to wonder if she was being sincere. “He’s got a track meet on Saturday, he'd miss most of the weekend and be exhausted on Monday. I’ll talk to him about the weekend after next and have him call you, okay?”

Ares nodded, biting his lip to keep his disappointment from showing. “Sure, Dite. Thanks.”

He let himself out of the house he’d lived in for the first twelve years of Cupid’s life, glancing back over his shoulder once on his way to the bus stop. Even after two years it still felt strange to leave and go back to the loft in the city, and somehow his place always seemed a little more lonely after a weekend with Cupid. Even brooding, sullen Cupid added a little life to the place he called home now, so no matter how angst-ridden and miserable Cupid was Ares wanted him around. His son had a whole life in New Jersey that didn’t include Ares anymore, though, and it had been that way long enough that Ares should be used to it by now.

How was he supposed to get used to being nothing more than to a visitor in his own son’s life? Ever since the divorce Cupid was the only thing he really had to hold onto, and even though he knew he couldn’t build a new life around his son it was hard to adjust to the situation. Two years – it had been two long years and Ares was still living in a barely furnished loft above his karate studio, almost as though he was just waiting for the nightmare to end so he could go back to the life he’d had before.

It wasn’t so much that he wanted what he’d had; he’d proven that by his inability to be the kind of husband Dite needed. He missed having a family to go home to, though, someone to sit across the table from him and bore him with the mundane details about their day. He missed knowing what was going on in his son’s life from day to day, watching the changes as he grew up and dealt with hormones and girls and his friends at school. It hadn’t been so bad, being married to a woman he could never really feel passion for. He loved her, and he’d always thought that would be enough. They’d known each other practically their whole lives, they’d been high school sweethearts and she knew him better than anyone.

Only she didn’t know what was evidently the most important detail about him, the defining characteristic of his life. That day she walked in at exactly the wrong moment had turned all their lives on end, and since then he’d been defined by his sexuality and nothing else about him mattered. No one cared that he was a good father, that he provided for his family and that he was home every night. No one cared that he was a successful business owner in a time when most small businesses were barely keeping afloat. No one cared about anything except the scandal surrounding the fact that he was gay, and he’d finally been forced out of the closet.

Coming out and moving to the city was supposed to make him happier, that was what Dite said after she calmed down enough to actually look at him without bursting into angry tears and a fresh round of accusations. She’d told him in a frighteningly calm voice that the best thing he could do for himself was move into the apartment above the dojo and figure out who he was and what he wanted. He was free; free to date who he wanted without having to sneak around, free to finally hold his head up and step out from under the shadow of the dark secret that had ruled his life for so long.

That wasn’t the way it felt, though. Sure, he could bring anybody he wanted home now, but waking up next to some naked stranger didn’t make him feel any more fulfilled than when he’d gotten up and gotten dressed to catch the train back to New Jersey in time for dinner. Picking up men wasn’t any easier or more difficult than it was before Dite threw him out, and it wasn’t like he was looking to fall in love. He’d been down that road once, and he’d proven in the most dramatic way possible that he wasn’t capable of holding together a relationship. He loved Dite and he loved his son, but he was barely in their lives anymore. So there was no point in looking for something that didn’t exist. He just had to find a way to come to terms with his life now, to accept that this was the way it was going to be and make it be enough.

~

Ares stepped out of the taxi and hoisted his bag a little further onto his shoulder, taking a deep breath of early autumn air before he climbed the front steps leading into Mount Saint Michael Academy. He could teach basic karate in his sleep, but being around a couple hundred high school boys was just going to remind him of the problems he was having with Cupid. It had been over a week since his son’s last visit, and Cupid was still barely speaking to him. Ares had no idea what to do about it, but he knew if he didn’t stop thinking about it long enough to get through the demonstration he was going to embarrass himself.

He stopped just inside the front door, letting his eyes adjust to the soft light before he looked around for the office. Finally he located a sign for the office and walked toward it, taking in the wood-paneled walls and the almost palpable silence of the school. The times he’d been to Cupid’s school to pick up his son had always been a frenzied rush of noise and the scent of industrial cleaning products, but Mount Saint Michael was so quiet that Ares felt like he was walking through a church rather than a high school.

The office proved brighter than the hallway, but it had the same aura of quiet and Ares was starting to wonder what he’d gotten himself into. How was he supposed to teach a bunch of teenagers the basics of street fighting without making any noise? As soon as the thought formed a door slammed behind him and he turned around a little too quickly, nearly knocking over a slim, dark-haired man. “Sorry,” Ares mumbled, dropping his bag automatically as he reached out to catch the other man before he hit the floor.

“My fault,” the man said, grinning cheerfully as Ares let go of him and took a step backwards. “It gets like a morgue in here during class, I forget how much noise the sound of a door slamming can make. You must be new.”

“Ares Kouros,” Ares answered, grasping the hand the other man held out and giving it a firm shake. “I’m supposed to be teaching karate but I’m not really sure where I’m supposed to be.”

“Joxer Parrish,” Joxer said, his smile brightening a little as he let go of Ares’ hand. “I’m afraid I’m not much help to you, I teach music. The secretary’s in the teachers’ lounge right now, I can take you to her if you like.”

Ares smiled his thanks and leaned down to pick up his bag again before he followed Joxer out of the office. He tried not to let his gaze stray below the slim shoulders in front of him, forcing himself to focus on the class he was there to teach and not Joxer. He wasn’t even really Ares’ type, but there was something about his smile that made Ares want to know more about him. Which meant he really was losing it, because the last thing Ares looked for in a potential sex partner was information about his life. Sometimes he didn’t even bother with introductions before he made a decision about whether or not to sleep with somebody. In his experience too much conversation could kill the potential of a relationship faster than anything else.

Not that any of his brief involvements could really be classified as ‘relationships’. Picking up some guy in a bar and spending a weekend messing up the sheets was really nothing more than an extended one night stand, and the few recurring sex partners he had could hardly be called boyfriends. They weren’t even friends, really, they were just guys that floated in and out of Ares’ life occasionally. The ones that knew better than to try to bond over their personal lives were the ones that lasted the longest, but Ares didn’t feel any particular affection for any of them.

He didn’t realize how far he’d let his mind wander until he felt a hand gently shaking his arm, and he started and looked down to find Joxer frowning thoughtfully at him. “Are you all right?”

“Sorry,” Ares said, his face flushing as he realized they were standing in front of a door marked ‘Teachers’ Lounge’. “I…I’m fine, just a little distracted.”

Joxer smiled and Ares did his best to ignore the way his stomach flipped. He had no idea what that meant, so he decided it was just nerves because of the setting and the fact that he was starting a new class outside of the dojo. He was used to teaching his classes at the karate studio, and going out to a school to conduct even a beginning class was a new experience for him. He could handle it, it was just the newness of the experience throwing him off.

“This place has that affect on everybody at first,” Joxer said, leaning forward a little and dropping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “The nuns have a thing for quiet. You get used to it.”

Ares nodded, not trusting his voice to answer. Joxer was leaning into his personal space, and even though he knew it didn’t mean anything he couldn’t help reacting to it. There was just something about those big brown eyes and the almost childlike smile that set Ares at ease and made him a bundle of nerves all at once. It was a strange sensation, and one he wasn’t entirely sure he liked. He cleared his throat and followed Joxer into the teachers’ lounge, stopping just inside to door as the smaller man waved a grandmotherly woman over.

“Sorry to interrupt your break, Sarah. This is Ares…I’m sorry, what did you say your last name was?”

“Kouros,” Ares supplied, taking an involuntary step backwards when Joxer’s gaze landed on him.

“The karate instructor. Can you point him in the right direction? I’ve got to get back to my classroom before lunch ends and the freshmen descend.”

“Mr. Kouros, I’m so sorry,” Sarah said, dismissing Joxer with a wave of her plump hand. “I completely forgot…it’s been such a day around here, we had a fire alarm and then a flood in the third floor bathroom. I swear, they should have leashes, every last one of them. Lord knows what they’ll come up with before the end of the day.”

As she spoke she took his arm and dragged him back out into the hallway and down the hall. He glanced over his shoulder to find Joxer watching them walk away, an amused grin lighting up the smaller man’s features as he watched the school secretary overpower a man twice her size. Joxer waved and then turned in the opposite direction, and Ares was surprised to find himself regretting the fact that he hadn’t had a chance to say thank you.

He shook it off in time to let the secretary lead him into what he assumed was the gym, although it looked more like an Olympic arena than a high school gymnasium. Ares resisted the urge to whistle at the sheer grandeur of the room, stopping inside the door as Sarah waved over a middle-aged man wearing sweatpants and a Mount Saint Michael tee shirt. “Mr. Kouros, this is Coach Robinson. Coach, Mr. Kouros is here to teach the karate course.”

Once the introductions were done and Sarah disappeared again in a rush of energy Ares turned his attention to the coach, forcing himself to focus on the short tour of the facilities and the run-down of the equipment they’d made available for his class. By the time his students began to arrive he’d managed to push any stray thoughts of Joxer almost completely out of his mind, but he couldn’t quite shake the lingering image of that smile, or the butterflies that insisted on rustling in his stomach every time he found himself picturing it.

~

The water was as hot as he could get it, but even after 20 minutes of letting the shower practically scald his skin raw Ares still felt dirty. He couldn’t shake it, he didn’t understand why but no amount of scrubbing was making him feel clean. Finally he gave up and turned off the shower, stepping out of the stall and wrapping a towel around his waist before he wiped away the steam fogging up the mirror.

As soon as he looked at his reflection he regretted it, but he forced himself to look anyway. He looked tired, years older than he was, his eyes sunken and his long hair dotted with the first signs of gray. He was too old to find himself waking up in a strange apartment next to some guy he didn’t recognize, not remembering whether or not he’d used a condom and not even knowing the color of the stranger’s eyes. He was tired of stumbling out of an unfamiliar apartment building and having to figure out where exactly in the city he’d ended up. The hangover he inevitably woke up with wasn’t even the worst of it, because he knew he deserved the dull ache behind his eyes and the churning feeling in his stomach.

He couldn’t even remember what depressing thoughts he’d been trying to drown the night before, and he barely remembered the guy he’d gone home with sitting down next to him at the bar. He knew if he hadn’t been so drunk he still would have gone home with the guy, but at least he would have remembered to be safe and responsible about it. There was no excuse for taking risks like that, and he knew what Dite would say if she could see him now. He knew she was right, too; she had a right to be horrified with the way he was living, and to want to protect Cupid from it as much as possible.

But that was what had driven him to that bar in the first place, wasn’t it? His conversation with Cupid the night before came rushing back and he turned away from the mirror, unwilling to look at the misery etched in his own features. His own son, the one person that mattered in his life – maybe the one person that gave a damn what happened to him – didn’t want to see him, didn’t want to talk to him or have anything to do with him. Ares knew Cupid had had a bad couple of weeks, but he hadn’t expected Cupid to be so angry. And at him, as though he’d even been around to cause any of Cupid’s misery.

That was the whole problem, though, because Ares wasn’t there. He wasn’t there for the painful day-to-day disappointments that plagued every teenager’s life, he wasn’t there for Cupid to ask embarrassing, stammered questions about girls that would leave them both red-faced and uncomfortable. He wasn’t there when Cupid had a bad day at school, or even just to pat his son on the back when he came home with an A on one of his papers.

So he couldn’t really blame Cupid for not wanting to have anything to do with him, could he? It wasn’t really anybody’s fault, but Cupid needed someone to blame and Ares was the most obvious choice. Even Dite had been sympathetic when she took the phone from Cupid and told Ares that she’d try to talk to him, but he knew it wasn’t going to do any good. Cupid wasn’t going to come around until he was ready, and all Ares could do was wait him out and hope that when his son finally figured things out that he’d still want Ares in his life.

To make matters worse, he had karate class at Mount Saint Michael that afternoon, and he knew he wasn’t going to shake his hangover-induced headache in time to face a roomful of energetic teenage boys. He managed to suffer through his morning classes with as little discomfort as possible, but those were his advanced students and they all understood the value of quiet reflection. So if Ares was a little quieter than usual that day most of them followed his lead. A gym full of teenagers was a different story, though, and by the time he got to the academy he was regretting his decision to take the job in the first place.

He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders before he walked into the building, telling himself it wouldn’t be that bad. He could handle an hour of thirty boys with energy to burn, he’d just put them to work reviewing what they’d learned in the first few classes. A small sigh escaped his lips as he turned the corner that would lead him to the gym and ran smack into someone coming from the other direction.

“We’ve gotta stop meeting like this,” an amused voice said, and Ares caught his balance and looked down to find Joxer smiling at him. His stomach did a little flip that didn’t help his hangover at all, and he just barely managed to stifle a groan.

“Sorry, guess I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“No problem, I’m tougher than I look,” Joxer answered, but his smile faded as he took a step closer and squinted at Ares. “Are you okay? You look a little green around the gills.”

Ares smiled, instantly regretting it when fresh pain shot through his temples. “I’m okay. Just a little headache. Look, I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to run you down like that.”

“It’s no big deal, Ares.”

The sound of his name took Ares by surprise, and he found himself wondering if it meant anything that Joxer had remembered it. He’d remembered Joxer’s name, but he couldn’t assume that Joxer had remembered his for the same reason. It was possible he was just a really nice guy. A really nice straight guy. Or maybe he just had a good memory. The bell rang and Ares closed his mouth, realizing for the first time that he’d been standing there with his jaw hanging open.

“Guess we’ve both got a class to get to,” Joxer said, his smile returning as the hall started to fill with students. “See you around, Ares.”

“Yeah, see you,” Ares called after him. When he realized he was still standing there watching Joxer walk away he shook his head and forced himself to turn in the direction of the gym, barely noticing the students jostling him as they hurried to their next class.

~

It was harder to forget his second chance meeting with Joxer, and Ares found his mind wandering to that warm smile more than once over the next few days. He still hadn’t made any headway with Cupid and his personal life was as much of a mess as ever, but for some reason thinking about Joxer’s smile calmed him. It was a weird feeling that he couldn’t put a name to no matter how much time he spent thinking about it, and it was starting to freak him out.

It just wasn’t normal to spend half his day thinking about someone he didn’t even know. He’d been to the school six times in the past three weeks, and he’d only seen Joxer twice so far. There was no reason for him to be developing a crush on someone just because he liked the way the guy smiled. Besides, it wasn’t like he could do anything about it. Even if Joxer was interested he’d learned a long time ago not to get involved with anyone he worked with, and even if they technically didn’t work together Joxer still worked for the academy. Ares could very easily screw up his new job teaching at the school if he got involved with one of its employees and it ended badly, especially considering the academy was run by the Catholic church.

He was so hard at work trying to convince himself that he wasn’t really interested in Joxer anyway that he didn’t hear the door open, in fact he didn’t realize he wasn’t alone in the dojo until a throat cleared behind him. His evening class didn’t start for over an hour, so he was startled by the sound of another person in the otherwise silence of the karate studio. When he turned to locate the source of the interruption he swallowed hard and did his best to ignore the butterflies making his stomach roll.

”Joxer,” Ares said, wincing at the breathy quality of his voice. He cleared his throat and tried to pull himself together without looking too much like he needed to pull himself together.

“Good memory,” Joxer said, the smile that had been haunting Ares on and off for days lighting up the smaller man’s features. “So this is where you spend your time. It’s…nice.”

Ares smiled at the hesitant quality of Joxer’s voice, but he couldn’t help wondering what on earth Joxer was doing in his dojo. “It doesn’t look like much, but I’ve been in this neighborhood for years. I’ve thought about moving but the rent’s good and people around here know me. So is there something I can do for you?” He ignored the heat creeping slowly up his neck and hoped that didn’t sound the way he wished he meant it.

Joxer cleared his throat and looked away, and for a split second Ares wondered if maybe his attraction wasn’t completely one-sided after all. Then Joxer looked up again, his open smile once more firmly in place. “The kids at school can’t say enough good things about you,” he said. “I spend half my time with my seniors trying to get them to stop practicing karate moves on each other.”

“I’m sorry,” Ares said, his eyes wide as he wondered how he was supposed to handle this. It was great that his students were so excited about karate, but he’d never thought about what would happen if their enthusiasm got him in trouble with the other teachers. “I didn’t realize…I can talk to them…”

“I’m not here to complain,” Joxer interrupted. “Trust me, if it wasn’t you they were going on about it would be something else. Music isn’t exactly the most exciting subject for most of them. They think you hung the moon, though.”

Ares snorted at that thought, wondering idly what Cupid would say if he heard the boys at Mount Saint Michael talking about his father like he was some kind of hero.

“Anyway,” Joxer went on, shifting his weight a little nervously as he glanced up at Ares again, “I have a brother that’s really into martial arts, and since you’re right down the road from the school I thought I’d stop by and check it out. If this isn’t a good time…”

“It’s a perfect time,” Ares answered before he could stop himself. He felt his cheeks flush and stopped short of rolling his eyes at himself. “I mean I don’t have class for an hour or so. I can give you a lesson now if you want. Show you some of the basics, and still have time left over to talk you into signing up for a class.”

Joxer’s smile made his eyes sparkle, and suddenly Ares wasn’t at all sure this was a good idea. In fact he had a feeling it was a very, very bad idea, but it wasn’t like he could just take it back now that he’d made the offer. Besides, karate had been his life for years. He could handle one private lesson with someone he was attracted to. It wasn’t as though the attraction was going anywhere, he’d already promised himself he wasn’t going to act on it. He had a feeling even if Joxer was interested that he wasn’t really the casual type, but then again he didn’t really know Joxer well enough to assume anything about him. Which was the best reason of all not to let his emotions run away with him.

“I’m not exactly dressed,” Joxer said, glancing down at his tweed jacket and khaki pants regrettfully.

“No problem, come on back to the locker room. I’m sure I’ve got a gi your size lying around somewhere.” Ares turned toward the locker room purposefully, not bothering to look back to make sure Joxer was following him. Having something to distract him from Joxer’s smile was the best thing for him, so he set himself to looking for a gi that would fit Joxer with an enthusiasm that was probably frightening to the casual observer. In fact when he finally located a tunic and pants that looked about Joxer’s size he found Joxer eyeing him warily, one eyebrow quirked.

Ares ignored the questions in Joxer’s eyes and handed over the gi without quite meeting Joxer’s gaze. “You can change right back there. Just hang your clothes anywhere, no one’s around to bother them. And don’t worry about shoes, bare feet are part of the uniform.”

As soon as he finished speaking he turned and walked out of the locker room, telling himself he was just giving Joxer some privacy while he changed. The fact that he was having a little trouble focusing had nothing to do with it, at least that was what he told himself as he went back to putting away the equipment he’d been working on when Joxer came in. By the time the locker room door opened again Ares had managed to rein in his emotions enough to at least look like he wasn’t losing his mind, and he turned and grinned at the picture Joxer presented.

The gi was a little big, but it would do for the introductory lesson. He’d tied the belt around his waist in a messy, cumbersome knot, and standing there in his bare feet he looked a lot like Cupid did when he was younger and woke up in the middle of the night looking for a glass of water. Ares pushed the memory away and crossed the room, stopping in front of Joxer and reaching automatically for his belt. “There’s a trick to these things,” he said as he untied the knot and pulled Joxer’s tunic closed. He looped one end of the belt through the other with practiced fingers, counting out the steps the way he did for his younger students. When he was finished he gave the ends of the belt a final tug, standing back when he was done to survey his work. “See? Nothing to it.”

“Thanks,” Joxer mumbled, and Ares glanced up for the first time to see a faint blush creeping into Joxer’s cheeks. He realized belatedly that grabbing Joxer without warning and fixing his belt for him might not have been the best idea he’d ever had, but he was so used to doing that with the kids in his classes that it hadn’t occurred to him to ask first. He cleared his throat and moved to a safe distance, deciding that ignoring the awkwardness and moving right into the basics was the best course of action.

He moved next to Joxer and began talking about the philosophy of karate as he demonstrated some basics, his mind on auto-pilot as he went through the speech he’d delivered hundreds of times. By the time he stopped for breath he found that he’d managed to relax, and Joxer was actually keeping up with the constant stream of instructions. Every once in awhile Ares reached over to adjust one of his hands or push his hips into the right position, but the awkwardness had melted away as they both focused and he found himself really enjoying Joxer’s company.

“The kids were right about you,” Joxer said when they stopped. “You’re a wonderful teacher.”

“Coming from another teacher that means a lot,” Ares said, smiling warmly at him. “Thank you.” 

Joxer grinned back at him and Ares felt something stir in his chest. He ignored the rush of panic that came along with the new feeling and tried to focus on what Joxer was saying.

“Music isn’t as exciting for my students as karate, but every once in awhile I get a kid with a natural talent that’s just begging to be brought out. That’s where the real rewards are, having a hand in shaping a kid with a real talent for music. My nephew, for instance. That poor kid…he’s got a lot working against him, but you should hear him play the piano. I used to give him lessons before I took the job at Mount Saint Michael and left Detroit. That kid could play at Carnegie someday.” Joxer stopped talking abruptly, his cheeks flushing again. “Sorry, I’m rambling.”

Ares couldn’t help smiling; in fact he’d been grinning since Joxer started talking about his nephew. It was obvious from the way he talked about him that they were close, and he could tell Joxer missed the kid. “Not at all,” he said, “you should hear me when I get started on my son. I could talk you into a coma telling you about Cupid.”

“I doubt hearing you talk about your son would be boring,” Joxer answered.

Ares held his gaze for a long moment, but his expression was unreadable. Finally he looked away, reminding himself harshly not to go looking for things that weren’t there. “I’ve got a new beginners’ class starting up next week,” he said, turning toward the front desk to get away from Joxer's steady gaze. “There’s still room, can I put your name down?”

When Joxer didn’t answer he looked up, his breath catching in his throat when he found Joxer watching him. He had no idea what it was about the way Joxer looked at him, but he felt almost like Joxer could see right into him. When their eyes locked Joxer smiled and took a few steps toward the locker room. “You talked me into it,” he said, his grin turning mischievous. “I should go change so you can have your clothes back.”

“Keep them. You’ll need them,” Ares said.

“Ares, I can’t let you…”

“They’re included in the price of the class.” Ares matched Joxer’s grin with one of his own, finally resigning himself to the fact that he just wasn’t going to be able to breathe on Wednesdays between 7:00 and 8:30 for the next few months.

~

“Cupid, damn it, would you just…”

That was as far as he got before the line went dead. He was getting used to the sound of the phone being slammed in his ear, and that alone was annoying enough. Coupled with the fact that it was his only child constantly hanging up on him made Ares wonder how much more he could take before he snapped. The thing that scared him the most was that every once in awhile, when things were really bad and he and Cupid had an especially bitter argument, he found himself wondering if it would be easier to just stop trying.

Every time the thought crossed his mind he felt sick to his stomach, and he instantly felt like the worst father in the world. He knew he’d never stop trying to help Cupid figure out whatever he was going through, but Cupid wasn’t talking and Ares was starting to get scared. The weirdest part was that Cupid called him more often than Ares called to check up on him, and their conversations still degenerated into a shouting match followed by Cupid hanging up on him. It was obvious his son was trying to reach out, but for the life of him Ares couldn’t get Cupid to tell him why.

He was so distracted on Wednesday night that he couldn’t even enjoy watching Joxer go through the motions of the short form he’d started teaching the class during their first session. During their first class Ares had spent most of his time trying not to notice the graceful way Joxer moved, but it had been a long time since he taught someone that picked up the basics of Kempo so quickly. It was refreshing to have a student that seemed naturally inclined toward the sport, and the fact that it was Joxer made Ares appreciate it just a little more.

Thanks to his problems with Cupid Ares was having trouble focusing on teaching at all, though, so he barely registered Joxer’s presence in the room. He spent most of the class just trying not to wonder what was bothering his son so much that he couldn’t talk about it, a myriad of terrifying possibilities racing through his mind. By the time class ended he’d worked himself into such a panic that he didn’t even notice that Joxer didn’t leave along with the rest of the class.

“Ares.”

Ares looked up from a pile of paperwork he’d been neglecting since Cupid hung up on him, frowning in the direction of the voice. “Joxer. What can I do for you?”

“Actually I was about to ask you that,” Joxer answered. His smile held a hint of nervous energy, and Ares felt his heart skip a beat in spite of his mood. “It’s just that you seemed a little…”

A heavy sigh escaped Ares’ throat as he realized how obvious it must have been to his students that his mind wasn’t on teaching. “It was totally unprofessional, I know,” he said. “I’ll have to make it up to everyone somehow.”

“To tell you the truth I don’t know if anyone else noticed,” Joxer said. “It’s just that I was watching you and…maybe I’m overstepping some kind of boundary here, but I’ve been told I’m a good listener. And I know where to get the best cup of coffee in The Bronx.”

Ares stopped in the middle of silently berating himself for letting his personal life affect his teaching, his head snapping up to stare at Joxer. He was almost sure…no, Joxer hadn’t just asked him out. He was just offering to listen, which meant Ares must look every bit as pathetic as he felt. He let out a groan and ran a hand over his face, wondering when his life had gotten so far out of control.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…look, forget I mentioned it, okay?”

He opened his eyes again to find Joxer backing toward the door, his forehead furrowing in confusion for a moment before he realized that he’d managed to screw up something else. “Joxer, wait, I wasn’t…” He took a deep breath when Joxer stopped a few feet away from the door and eyed him warily, almost as though he was expecting Ares to attack him for suggesting they get a cup of coffee. Somehow he managed a weary smile, stifling a relieved sigh as he watched Joxer relax. “Actually coffee sounds great.”

“Great,” Joxer echoed, his smile returning as Ares dropped his paperwork back on the counter and reached for his keys. They stepped out into the chilly night air, Joxer tugging his coat a little closer around him as he waited for Ares to lock up.

“There’s a diner just a few blocks from here,” Joxer said when Ares turned back to him. “We can catch a cab if you want, but it’s a nice night for walking.”

“Let’s walk,” Ares answered, taking a deep breath as he fell into step next to Joxer. “Early fall and the first snow of winter.”

“Pardon?”

Ares smiled as he remembered something Cupid had said to him when he was ten. “Something my son told me once. Early fall nights like this one and the first snowfall. The only two times when New York really smells clean.”

Joxer laughed and shoved his hands in his pockets. “He’s got a point, I think. It’s definitely different than Michigan. Not that the neighborhood I grew up in was anything to write home about, but it’s a lot different than New York. Did you grow up here?”

“No. Well, almost. I’m from Jersey; Neptune, to be exact. It’s about an hour and a half by train, my son still lives there with his mother. I don’t get to see him nearly as much as I’d like, especially lately.”

Ares glanced over at Joxer, but he was still staring at the sidewalk in front of them. “I can only imagine how hard that is. I miss my nephew, but I’m not his father so it’s not the same. I just tried to look out for him after his father was out of the picture.”

“How long have you been in New York?”

“About a year and a half now. I found myself caught up in one of those never-ending relationships that’s not going anywhere, so when I got the offer from the Academy I jumped at it. Probably not the most mature way to get out of a bad situation, but the change was good for me.” Joxer smiled as he stole a glance at Ares. “From what I hear it took my ex a couple weeks to notice I was gone.”

Ares frowned at that, but didn’t press Joxer for details. “My ex was well aware of my departure,” he said, a bitter laugh escaping his throat at the memory. “She made sure most of the neighborhood was aware of it, too.”

“How long were you two together?”

“We were married for thirteen years, but we’ve been together since high school. She went to college for a couple years before we got married, so almost twenty years.” Ares frowned and counted backwards before deciding he was right. “Wow. I never really thought about it in terms of time.”

“Kind of eye-opening when you really stop to look at your life,” Joxer said. Ares glanced sharply to his left, but Joxer didn’t look like he knew any more about Ares’ many failures than Ares had told him. He forced himself to relax as they reached the diner Joxer had mentioned, holding the door and letting Joxer brush past him.

They found an empty booth near the back and ordered two cups of coffee, neither of them speaking again until the waitress came back with their order. Joxer watched while Ares poured sugar and cream into his cup until the coffee was a strange tan color, clearing his throat in a failed attempt not to laugh. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone put quite that much sugar in a single cup of coffee before.”

Ares grinned and leaned forward, dropping his voice to a stage whisper. “Now you know one of my dark secrets. I have a terrible sweet tooth.”

“One?” Joxer quirked an eyebrow and lifted his own cup to his lips, taking a sip of black coffee before he set it down again. “You have secrets darker than that?”

“Depends on who you ask. If you asked my ex she’d tell you a different story than how I take my coffee.”

“Does this deep, dark secret of yours have anything to do with why you looked so miserable during class tonight?” Ares felt his face fall, a dark cloud settling over him again as he remembered what had him so distracted earlier. He was amazed to find that he’d forgotten all about his problems with Cupid while he and Joxer were talking, but now it all came back in a dizzying rush. “I’m sorry, Ares, I shouldn’t have…it’s none of my business.”

“No, it’s alright,” Ares said, guilt hitting him hard when he looked up to see the stricken expression on Joxer’s face. “Actually that was about my son. He’s fourteen, and he’s going through some major teen angst and taking it out on me. He called a few hours before class and ended up hanging up on me for the third time this week. I guess the fact that I’m not around doesn’t help, and I have a feeling it might have something to do with the reason his mother and I split up.”

As soon as he said it Ares realized that he was skirting dangerous territory. He had no idea what Joxer was looking for from him, if he was just trying to be nice or if the attraction Ares felt really did go both ways. There was no way Joxer was going to just let it go, though, and Ares was either going to have to tell him the truth or make up some excuse and get out of there. The thought of pushing Joxer out of his life left him with a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to stand telling Joxer he was gay and having Joxer look at him like he’d just announced he had leprosy.

“How long have you two been divorced?”

“Two years,” Ares answered, not bothering to check the sigh that went along with that admission. “I know we did the right thing, even if it is hard for Cupid. But to think of him paying for my mistakes…”

He trailed off and stole another glance at Joxer, but Joxer seemed content to wait for Ares to spell it out for him. Ares had come out to people before, but it had always been in a fairly safe setting. This was a person he didn’t really know, someone who worked in the same building where Ares taught a class. Then there was the fact that they had a student-teacher relationship…well, sort of, anyway. He was pretty sure there was nothing ethically wrong with sleeping with someone from his karate class, but that was the least of his worries.

~

“Kids hear things, you know? And I’m sure there’s been plenty of talk about the divorce since I moved out. Dite – that’s my ex – was really hurt. I mean I hurt her in the worst way possible, so I guess in a way it’s understandable.”

“Ares, people cheat. It happens.”

Ares frowned across the table. “How did you know…?”

“’Worst way possible’. I’ve been there, it’s pretty much a given.” Joxer sighed and set his cup down, leaning forward to fold his hands in front of him. “We all make mistakes, right? Divorce is hardest on kids, but I bet your son knows you love him. The fact that he called you means he’s trying to deal with whatever the problem is. He’ll tell you when he’s ready.”

“The last time he came to visit he said he wanted to live with me.” Ares was staring at his coffee as though it held the secrets of the universe, watching the surface ripple slightly as heat from the vent above their table floated down to them. “That made me feel really good, you know? But then he said he didn’t want to go back to his school because the kids all make fun of him. He didn’t say, but I could tell it was about me.”

He looked down when he felt a hand cover his, frowning at Joxer’s fingers as though it was the first time anyone had ever touched him. “It’s not your fault, you know.”

Ares looked up, his frown deepening when he realized he didn’t have to tell Joxer anything. He’d never understood how some people just knew without even asking, but it was obvious Joxer did. Sometimes Ares thought he could tell when someone was interested in him, but he was never positive. Looking back at Joxer he could tell that Joxer knew beyond the shadow of a doubt exactly why the kids at Cupid’s school were making fun of him, and he felt his heart lurch into his throat. “I…how did you…?”

Joxer’s hand left his, leaving Ares’ skin feeling cold despite the heat pouring down on them through the vent. The smaller man shrugged and picked up his coffee again, watching Ares over the edge of the cup while he drank. “Sometimes you can just tell,” he said when he set his coffee down again. “Not that it’s obvious or anything, it’s just the way you were talking. I’ve been through it, it’s not that hard to recognize the signs. You being gay seemed like the most plausible scenario. I mean you could have surprised me by saying your wife caught you having an affair with a nun or something.”

A surprised laugh escaped Ares’ throat, the first one in days. By the time he recovered his was shaking helplessly, his head shaking back and forth as he wiped at his eyes. “A nun?”

“What can I say, I work for a Catholic school.”

“I could have said I was sleeping with the babysitter.”

“Is that still considered scandalous? Not enough for kids to make fun of your son over it, anyway.”

“Point taken.” Ares searched his mind for anything scandalous enough to make Cupid’s life miserable, but most of the scenarios he came up with were too horrifying to say out loud even in jest. He knew exactly how scandalized his old friends were when they found out he was gay, mostly because none of them would even look at him anymore if they happened to run into him. Those that did looked embarrassed or sometimes ashamed, but they at least mumbled a ‘hello’ before they went back to trying to ignore the fact that he’d ever existed. He hadn’t realized until that moment how lonely the last two years had been, and he found himself wondering why he hadn’t tried harder to make some new friends in the city.

“So I guess Cupid moving in with you is pretty much out of the question?”

The question surprised Ares out of his reverie, but he managed not to drop his coffee at the sound of Joxer’s voice. “Dite would never go for it,” Ares answered. “Getting him for a weekend here and there is still a major production, and I have to put up with the lecture on keeping him away from any strange men every time I pick him up. Besides, I’m not sure it would solve anything. He’s barely speaking to me, and I keep coming up with these nightmare scenarios of what’s bothering him.”

Joxer smiled sympathetically as he watched Ares shudder. “If it was something truly horrible he wouldn’t have called you at all. He probably wouldn’t want to talk to anyone. Give him time, he’ll come around.”

“Are you sure you’re not a shrink in your spare time?”

“Thanks, I think, but I get all this stuff from the teacher in-house seminars they make us go to every few months. When your kids get a day off school to annoy you and stir up trouble it’s because their teachers are busy learning how to spot the signs of things like drug addiction and sexual abuse.”

“And here I thought you people just taught reading and writing.”

A wry grin tugged at the corners of Joxer’s mouth as he held Ares’ gaze. “Just trust me when I say that Cupid’s a lucky kid. He’s got two parents that care about him, he’s doing better than most kids these days. He’ll realize that eventually.”

He hadn't been expecting to feel better just from talking about his problems with Cupid, but strangely enough he did. In fact talking to Joxer was so easy that he'd already told him things he'd never said to anyone else. It was the first time since his divorce that he'd really confided in anyone about how he felt, about Cupid or Dite or any of the other weird things going on in his life. The fact that Joxer had guessed his big secret wasn't even so bad, and he'd even said that he'd been through the same thing himself. Ares did his best to ignore the shiver of anticipation that rolled through him at that thought and reached for his wallet.

"I've got it, I asked you."

"Joxer, it's the least I can do. You listened to me complain about my kid and my ex-wife for…" He trailed off and glanced at his watch, raising his eyebrows when he realized how long they'd been sitting there. "…Almost an hour."

"I wanted to," Joxer said. "Besides, it's just a couple cups of coffee."

Ares shrugged and tucked his wallet back into his pocket while he tried to remember how to make his voice work. He wasn't at all sure he should be doing what he was about to do, but he liked spending time with Joxer and he was really easy to talk to. They could at least be friends, Ares told himself. He could use a friend that didn't have allegiances to Dite, and it would be nice to be around someone for once without having to worry about where it was going. "Okay, okay, I give. On the condition that you let me buy you dinner. To thank you," he added quickly.

"For what?"

A hot blush crept into Ares' cheeks as he tried to come up with an answer that wouldn't make him look any more pathetic than he already did. He wasn't about to admit the truth, which would have entailed saying something along the lines of 'for being nice to me' or 'because I haven't got anyone else to tell this stuff to'. Finally his brain latched onto a memory and in the heat of the moment he decided that it sounded good enough to say out loud. "For pointing me in the right direction the first time we met. I never did get a chance to thank you for that."

Joxer looked like he wanted to laugh, or maybe say something that would embarrass Ares even more. Instead he dug his own wallet out and dropped a few bills on the table before he looked over at Ares again. "How's Friday night?"

"Perfect," Ares answered. He held Joxer's gaze a few seconds longer than he needed to before he forced himself to look away, standing up and reaching for his jacket before he glanced over at Joxer again. When he realized he was going to have to say goodnight to Joxer he suddenly felt awkward, and part of him was tempted to fall back on the charm he used in the clubs. He wondered what Joxer would say if Ares invited him back to his place; it was tempting, but the thought that Joxer might turn him down stopped him before the question formed on his lips. They weren't dating, they weren't even friends yet. Maybe they were headed in that direction, but if Ares tried to seduce him now that would all be over in the morning. It surprised him how much the idea of losing even his tentative friendship with Joxer bothered him, and he pushed the attraction he felt for Joxer as far back in his consciousness as it would go.

When they reached the sidewalk Ares found himself shifting his weight awkwardly, feeling like a nervous teenager about to try for his first kiss. Only he wasn't kissing Joxer goodnight, but the second the idea occurred to him all he could think about was the mouth that was less than two feet away from his.

"Which direction are you…?"

"What? Oh," Ares muttered, glad for the darkness covering his inevitable blush at being caught daydreaming about kissing his new friend. "I live above the dojo. There's a loft up there, I used to rent it out until…well, you know that story already."

Joxer smiled sympathetically and nodded in the opposite direction. "My place is in the village, I catch the subway right over there. So I guess I'll see you on Friday."

"Right, Friday. Do you want to meet somewhere or…?" Ares rolled his eyes at himself as he listened to himself babble. It had been years since he'd gone on an actual date with someone, but this wasn't a date. This was just two friends meeting for dinner, and he was the one that had asked so he should be the one doing the arranging. "Or I can come to you," he added.

"I can just come by after school," Joxer suggested. "I'm already over here anyway, no sense both of us going all the way over to the village."

"Sure, sounds good," Ares said. He could feel his grin spreading but he was powerless to control it, and suddenly all he wanted to do was get away from Joxer before he scared him away forever. "So I'll see you Friday."

"Goodnight, Ares." Joxer wasn't moving, and Ares realized that he was just standing in the middle of the sidewalk staring at the smaller man. He shook his head and forced himself to take a step backwards, then he stopped again.

"Goodnight," he said before he turned on his heel and walked as quickly as he could in the direction of his apartment.

Ares didn't see Joxer at school on Thursday. It wasn't for lack of looking; in fact he got to the school earlier than usual, and he took his time making his way toward the gym to set up for his class. There was no sign of Joxer in the hallways, though, and he couldn't bring himself to actually walk into the teachers' lounge. He couldn't think of a decent excuse, anyway, not when he hadn't been in there since his first day. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to see Joxer before their…no, it wasn't a date, and he wasn't going to let himself think of it as one. It was hard not to wonder how Joxer was thinking of it, though, if he was even thinking about it at all.

By the time Friday afternoon rolled around he'd worked himself into a near panic, and when Joxer finally walked into the dojo he was almost relieved just to have the suspense over with. All it took was one look at Joxer and Ares knew exactly what he'd been thinking about their dinner plans. This was a date – there was no way around it, because he'd seen Joxer dressed for school before and this didn't even come close. He was wearing a pair of black slacks and boots that probably earned him a few raised eyebrows at school if he'd actually worn them all day. Instead of his usual tweed jacket and white work shirt he was wearing a maroon button-down dress shirt that Ares was almost sure was silk.

"Hi," was the only syllable he managed to get out around the lump in his throat, but it must have been enough because Joxer's whole face lit up in that smile that Ares was really starting to look forward to.

"Hi. Am I early? If you've got another class or something I've got some papers I can grade."

"You assign papers to your music students?"

Joxer's laughter filled the silence of the empty studio and did things to Ares' stomach that he was not going to think about. "There's more to music than just learning to play the flute. I teach music theory and music history as well."

"You know I think I remember something like that back in high school, now that you mention it," Ares said. "But I spent most of my time in the chorus room."

"You sing?"

"I've been known to." Ares smiled at the glimmer of interest in Joxer's eyes and reached for his keys. "Come on upstairs while I change. It's a little more comfortable than hanging around down here."

By 'a little' Ares meant exactly that, but he hadn't really thought about quite how uninviting his loft was until he looked at it through Joxer's eyes. The second-hand sofa he'd had since he opened the dojo sagged noticeably at one end from all the time Cupid had spent jumping on it in an effort to fly when he was little. The kitchen jutted sharply into the living area, and the fridge had been painted at least three different colors over the years. The original avocado was beginning to show through the chipped layers, and he remembered for the first time since he'd put it in that he'd gotten it out of his parents' garage when they moved to Florida.

The TV was small, and the only reason he even had cable was for Cupid's benefit. Not that Cupid was around to watch it much, but Ares liked having C-Span for company during dinner. Which was a depressing thought all on its own, and he let out a small sigh as he dropped his keys on the table next to the door and stood aside to let Joxer in. "I guess I still haven't really moved in."

"It's nice. Big," Joxer said as he stepped into the loft and looked around. It was obvious he was working hard at _not_ saying what he was thinking, which made Ares feel even worse for not getting a handle on his life by now. It had been two years, he shouldn't still be treating the apartment above the dojo like it was a hotel room.

"I'll be right out," he said. "Make yourself comfortable. There's beer in the fridge, there might be some Coke too from the last time Cupid was here."

He took a few steps backwards and succeeded in catching his thigh on the corner of the table next to the door, rolling his eyes at himself as he turned and headed toward the bedroom. It was stupid to worry about what Joxer thought of his apartment, he knew that. Mostly he thought of it as a place to sleep anyway, it wasn't as though he spent a lot of time hanging around up there by himself. _Because you're too busy hanging around downstairs by yourself,_ a voice in the back of his head reminded him. He scowled and rummaged around in the pile of laundry at the foot of the bed until he found a clean towel and headed for the bathroom.

After a quick shower and a momentary panic when he realized he was going to have to pick out date clothes he finally settled on a pair of black jeans and a black button-down. He rolled the sleeves up a little just so he wouldn't look too dressed up, but he still felt a little bit like he was trying too hard to impress Joxer. His black leather pants would probably be too much for dinner with a friend, even if it was kind of a date. It wasn't a real date, but maybe if he thought of it as a practice date it would be easier to relax and hold a conversation.

When he reappeared in the living room Joxer was standing by the window, holding one of the few framed pictures Ares kept around the house. "He looks like you," Joxer said without looking up.

Ares crossed the room to stop next to him, frowning down at the picture of him with his arm around a much younger Cupid. "I always thought he took after Dite. That's what everyone else says."

"Well I assume he gets the blond from her," Joxer said, finally looking up to smile at Ares. "But he's got your build, you can tell he's going to be all muscle when he's older. He's got your eyes, too."

"Yeah?" Ares took the picture out of Joxer's hand and peered down at it, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he saw what Joxer was talking about. "I guess he does."

When he looked up again Joxer was watching him, his body turned toward Ares so that their shoulders were almost touching. It felt so natural to lean forward that for a split second he forgot that he didn't have the right to just lean down and kiss Joxer, he forgot everything except the butterflies in his stomach and the expectant way Joxer was staring up at him. He wasn't sure whether he'd actually moved or if he'd just thought about leaning in to kiss Joxer, but before he made contact the picture frame slipped out of his hand and bounced onto the carpet.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath, crouching down and picking up the frame in an effort to hide his blush.

"Did it break?"

"No, it's…it's fine," Ares answered without looking up. A minute ago everything had made sense, but as soon as he realized what he'd been about to do he was confused again. He knew he wanted to kiss Joxer; he wanted a lot more than just a kiss, but he had no idea what Joxer wanted. He hadn't looked like he was planning to stop Ares, but maybe he just hadn't realized yet what Ares was thinking. Somehow he managed to stifle a sigh and straighten up, setting the picture frame back down on the windowsill before he stole a glance at Joxer. "Ready?"

"Sure," Joxer answered. Ares told himself he was just imagining the hesitation in Joxer's voice, reaching for his jacket and pulling it on before he led Joxer out of the loft and back down the stairs. They made small talk about some of the students they had in common on the way to Ares' favorite restaurant, and Ares found a whole list of new reasons to admire Joxer's dedication to teaching. The way he talked about the kids he taught made Ares wish that Cupid was in his class, if for no other reason than so Ares would know that at least one teacher at his school gave a damn about what happened to his son.

"I wish Cupid's teachers were still as dedicated as you are," Ares said when they found themselves seated at a table near the front of the restaurant. "Half the time I wonder if some of them even know his name."

"I figure I've still got a few years before I really get jaded," Joxer said, trying and failing to hide the smirk that was threatening to form. "It's a tough job, but teaching music isn't as much of a challenge as history or math. Most of the kids in my class want to be there, even if it's just because they've got big dreams of being rock stars."

"That makes sense. I wish Cupid would show an interest in something besides overreacting."

"Don't knock it, maybe you've got the next Brad Pitt on your hands."

Ares laughed, reminded all over again of how much he liked just talking to Joxer. He shook his head at the idea of Cupid in Hollywood, living the life of a movie star. "He's too smart to waste his time on acting. He's got his mother's brains."

"His father doesn't seem to be lacking in that department either." Joxer cleared his throat and looked away, and Ares couldn't quite hide the smile that formed as he watched Joxer blush. "What does his mother do, anyway?"

"She's a family therapist."

Joxer laughed this time, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he stared back at Ares. "You're joking."

"I'm afraid not. I think that's part of the reason she's still so mad at me."

"I guess I can't really blame her. But if anything she should be mad at herself for not seeing it coming."

"I don't know, I never really saw it coming." Ares frowned down at his menu, his mood falling as suddenly as it had lifted. Part of him felt stupid for expecting to live out the charade of their marriage for the rest of their lives, but the rest of him was still so confused that it was hard to think straight sometimes. "I'm not sure what that says about me."

"Ares, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"No, it's alright," Ares interrupted quickly, hoping to avoid listening to Joxer stumble through an apology he didn't deserve. "You're right, we both probably should have seen it. In a way I guess she always knew, she just didn't want to deal with it. And I guess I just liked the idea of having a family. I still miss it, to tell you the truth."

"It's a lot to give up after nearly 20 years together. And you have a son, that makes things more complicated."

"Cupid's the only good part of this whole mess," Ares said, frowning at the thought of his son and how confused and angry he was even after two years. "Poor kid, he doesn't deserve to be caught in the middle."

"Being a parent doesn't make you a superhero." Joxer smiled when Ares glanced up at him again, and Ares couldn't help feeling guilty for bringing the conversation back to his messy personal life for the second time. "You're still human, Ares. My nephew doesn't deserve to have a father in prison, but that's the reality. And Strife's doing okay, his mother's not the greatest influence in the world but she loves him."

"Your brother's in prison?" Ares raised his eyebrows in surprise, trying to imagine what the brother of the gentle man sitting across from him could have done to land himself in jail.

"There are three of us," Joxer answered, and Ares could tell it was an effort to hold his gaze. He crossed his arms over his chest in an effort to suppress the urge to reach over and cover Joxer's hand with his the way Joxer had done two nights before, nodding his understanding as he waited for Joxer to continue. "Triplets. Me, Jett, and Jace. Jett's always had a temper, and once he hit high school he started drinking a lot. To tell you the truth I'm surprised he didn't land in prison long before he did. He never could handle his liquor, he used to fight all the time. It didn't matter who with, as long as he was drunk enough he could pick a fight with a complete stranger just for breathing wrong. Anyway when Strife was still little Jett got drunk and picked a fight with one of his friends. A kid we grew up with, they were practically inseparable. Jett just hit him a little too hard and ended up in prison for manslaughter. It's funny because when he's sober he's the funniest guy, and really charming. If I'd been the least bit interested in girls in high school I would have been jealous. But get a little booze in him and he turns into Mr. Hyde."

"What about your other brother…Jace, right?"

Joxer smiled affectionately, glancing down at his hands as he lost himself in some memory of his brother. "Jace. He's the 'colorful' one in the family. Right now he's living in Vegas, performing in one of the drag shows out there. My being gay didn't even phase my parents after they got a look at Jace in a pair of heels the first time. He's terrible about keeping in touch. Jett writes pretty regularly, though. He keeps up with what Strife's up to through me, I think he's scared to write to him. His own kid, can you imagine?"

"Do you think Strife would want to hear from him?"

For a long moment a shrug was Joxer's only answer, then he looked up and met Ares' gaze. "I don't know, I've never asked him. It's his father, no matter what he's done that won't change."

"I guess not." Ares leaned forward and folded his hands in front of him on the table, regarding Joxer thoughtfully for a moment before he continued. "He's lucky to have you in his life."

"I don't know about that, I moved all the way to New York and left him in Detroit. Sometimes I feel guilty about that. I mean he's got his mom and he's almost seventeen now, but still. Sometimes I wonder about the kids he hangs out with."

"Now that's one thing I don't worry about," Ares said, his features relaxing into a proud smile as he pictured Cupid's friends. "Everyone Cupid hangs around is a straight A student. You wouldn't believe the manners on these kids. If there's one thing I never have to worry about, it's bad influences on my son."

~

Saturday morning Ares woke feeling more rested than he had in ages. As soon as he opened his eyes the night before came flooding back, and he smiled into his pillow at the memory of Joxer's voice, his easy laugh and the smile that lit up his whole face. They'd spent hours sitting in the restaurant, just talking about Cupid and Joxer's nephew and how hard it was to raise good kids in this day and age. When they'd finally worn out their welcome at the restaurant they found a bar and spent another hour or so talking over beers, and even then Ares found it difficult to let Joxer leave.

Once again he found himself standing on the sidewalk in front of Joxer, wondering what Joxer's reaction would be if Ares asked him not to go. He got the feeling it wasn't just about sex this time, though, and that was enough to scare him into silence. The fact was that he'd had a conversation with Joxer – several, in fact – and instead of killing the attraction it had just made it stronger. He had no idea what that meant, or what he was supposed to do about it once he figured it out.

His confusion didn't do anything to diminish his mood, though, and he was startled to find himself whistling as he made his way to the shower to get ready for his morning classes. He was still humming softly to himself half an hour later as he walked into the studio and unlocked the front door, pushing it open long enough to take in a breath of crisp autumn air. The sky was a clear blue and the air still held a hint of summer warmth, just enough to match Ares' mood perfectly. He was so caught up in the serendipity of the weather that he almost missed the figure crouched next to the door until it stood up and practically pushed him over on its way into the studio.

"Cupid?"

He followed the blur of blond hair back inside, his mood and the night before forgotten as worry edged out every other feeling. "Cupid?" he tried again as he watched his son trudge up the stairs toward the loft. "Son, what the…what the hell are you doing here?"

"Geez, took you long enough to answer the door," Cupid snapped from the top of the stairs. "I've been out there forever."

Ares made a mental note to check if the buzzer was broken before he followed his son upstairs, stopping just inside the loft and crossing his arms over his chest. "Cupid, does your mother know you're here?"

"No. Not yet, anyway. I left a note." Cupid scowled at the coffee table and threw himself down on the couch, crossing his arms over his chest in a gesture remarkably like his father's. "Like she cares anyway."

"Cupid, come on, she cares. We both care about you more than anything, you know that."

"Oh yeah? Well if you care so much…awww, forget it." Cupid trailed off and let out a little huff of air that puffed out his chest momentarily.

Ares took a deep breath and summoned the few remaining shreds of patience left in him before he crossed the room and crouched down next to the couch. For a long moment he just looked up at his son, willing Cupid to meet his gaze. Slowly a pair of angry hazel eyes turned toward him, and he watched as the anger drained out of them only to be replaced by confusion. "Cupe? What's going on? Whatever's bothering you, you can tell me."

Cupid took a deep breath, opened his mouth and then closed it again. Ares waited as patiently as possible while his son stared back at him, studying his face as though he was searching for the answer to a question he hadn't asked yet. Just as Ares was about to give up and suggest they at least call Dite Cupid's chin began to quiver, and before he knew what was happening Ares found himself with an armful of shivering teenager. He caught them just before they tumbled backwards onto the carpet, his breath catching in his throat as he listened to his son sniffle against his neck. It took endless moments before Cupid pulled himself together enough to talk, and when he did he whispered the words directly against Ares' neck. "Dad, I think I might be gay."

~

Forty minutes later Ares had located and talked one of the instructors that worked out of the dojo into coming in and covering his classes for him. He couldn't remember what he'd promised Linda in exchange for the favor, but he was sure she wouldn't let him forget. Once that was taken care of he was left with a quivering, disheveled looking, slightly damp teenager curled up on one end of his couch, and Ares wasn't sure what to do.

Part of him couldn't help wondering if Cupid was just confusing normal teenage curiosity with the desire to identify with his father in some way. Another part of him wondered how long it would take Dite to find a way to blame this on him, but there was a tiny part of him he was trying really hard to ignore that was secretly thrilled at this turn of events.

He knew the odds of Cupid figuring out somewhere down the road that he was just confused were high; the last two years of his life had been more confusing than most teenagers had to deal with, and it was probably natural for him to question whether or not he was gay once he saw his father living the lifestyle. Only he never really saw the lifestyle, because Ares was careful to respect Dite's wishes and protect Cupid from all of that. So what Cupid really saw was Ares' apartment, the neighborhood around the dojo, and whatever tourist attractions Ares could interest him in long enough to distract him for a few hours. The truth was that Cupid didn't really know anything about being gay except the misery it had caused his entire family.

"Cupid." No answer, and Ares let out a sigh as he sank onto the coffee table in front of his son. "Why don't you tell me what makes you think you might be gay."

Cupid looked up long enough to give him a look that clearly said 'duh', but Ares resolutely refused to look away. "There has to be something that happened. Did something… _happen_?"

"No," Cupid moaned into his kneecaps. "God, Dad."

Ares swallowed a sigh of relief and silently thanked whoever was listening that he'd dodged that particular bullet for one day. The last thing he wanted to do after his son had just come out to him was have a frank discussion about gay sex. He guessed they'd probably have to have that conversation someday, but he hoped it was far in the future. "Is there someone you like then?"

"No. Not really. It's not like that, Dad. It's just a feeling."

When he finished talking he looked up, and the misery in his eyes was so clear that Ares felt his heart twist in his chest. He remembered that feeling, it hadn't been that long since the last time he felt that kind of shame and confusion. Less than two hours ago he'd actually been optimistic for the first time since he was Cupid's age, and now he couldn't even remember what he'd been so happy about. One date with a guy he barely knew? Ares knew less about dating than…well, Cupid, probably, considering how much TV the kid watched.

"You know, son, you don't have to decide anything right now. You're still young, there's plenty of time to figure things out. You're gonna have a lot of new feelings in the next few years, they don't necessarily mean what you think they mean."

It sounded good when he thought it, and he didn't think it sounded half-bad when he said it. As soon as he finished speaking Cupid looked at him as though he'd suddenly sprouted wings, though, and for a second Ares was tempted to check.

"Like I'd pick this," Cupid said in a tone that let Ares know exactly how little Cupid thought of him at the moment. "You think I want to be like this? Mom's gonna freak."

In that instant the tiny part of Ares that had cheered when the words "I'm gay" came out of his son's mouth died. It wasn't even so much that the thought of being like him filled Cupid with panic, because who could really blame him? Ares knew what Cupid's future held if he really was gay, though, and he wouldn't wish that on his son for anything.

"She's not going to freak. Your mother loves you," Ares assured him, although he wasn't entirely sure Dite wouldn't freak. He knew for sure she'd find a way to make it his fault, anyway, and that was just going to make things even harder for Cupid. "Do you want me to be there when you talk to her?"

"I can't tell her. Not yet. I don't know if I can ever tell her. I can't tell anybody, Dad. You should hear the things they say…if they knew I was like that too…"

He didn't need to finish the sentence to let Ares know who 'they' were, and who they were talking about when they said whatever they'd been saying. He'd never imagined this kind of torment when Dite told him that Cupid was having trouble at school, and he could only imagine all the ways Cupid's friends were hurting him without even realizing it. It was no wonder Cupid wanted to move to New York and live with him, but there was no way Dite was going to go for that now. She might not ever let him come to the city again once she knew the truth. He knew she wouldn't hold it against Cupid, at least not intentionally, but he couldn't say the same for himself.

"It'll be alright," he said, as much to try to convince himself as to reassure Cupid. He reached out and put a hand on the back of Cupid's neck, pulling him forward into a tight hug. "It'll be okay, Cupid. You're gonna be fine."

~

It took Ares the better part of the day to talk Cupid into calling Dite, and in the end it was Ares that ended up talking to her. Cupid barely got out a squeaky ‘Mom?’ before he handed the phone over, and Ares had to do a lot of fast thinking to come up with a way to keep Cupid out of trouble for riding the train alone into the city. Ares was still a little worried about that part, because the fact that Cupid could make the hour and a half train ride alone without even blinking meant he was getting way too independent way too fast. Coupled with this latest development…well, they were definitely going to have to sit down and talk about safety in all its forms soon.

They hadn’t done a lot of talking over the weekend, but the fact that Cupid had come to him made Ares feel a little better. He knew it was mostly because he was the only other gay person Cupid knew, but it still made him feel better to know that at least his son was still speaking to him. They were going to have to talk to Dite eventually, but he wasn’t going to push it until Cupid was ready. There was a small part of him that enjoyed having a secret that was just between the two of them, that meant Cupid would come to him with questions and worries or even just to vent about how unfair his life was. Thinking that way made him feel even more guilty, but he couldn’t shut off his emotions no matter how hard he tried.

By the time he got back from dropping Cupid off on Sunday night he was emotionally exhausted and the temptation to curl up in the center of his bed and shut out the whole world was too strong to ignore. He knew that wasn’t really an option, though, because he had to open the studio in the morning and he was pretty sure Linda wouldn’t cover for him again. A soft sigh escaped his throat as he dropped his keys on the coffee table and picked up the phone, dialing Linda’s number to thank her again and make sure everything had gone okay over the weekend.

Once she assured him that he would have heard if there had been a problem he hung up the phone, noticing for the first time that his answering machine was blinking at him. For a moment he thought about not playing back the message, expecting it to be Dite calling to ask him more leading questions about what was going on with their son. When he realized it could be Cupid he relented and pressed ‘play’, frowning at the sound of the familiar male voice filling the room.

“Ares. Long time no see. I’m starting to think you’ve found someone you like better than me, but I know that’s not possible. Give me a call. Or better yet, just come over. You know where to find me.”

The invitation was one that Ares would normally jump at, but for some reason tonight the sound of his sometimes-lover’s voice just made his temples throb. He thought about ignoring his instincts and going over there anyway, losing himself in sensation and someone he knew well enough that he didn’t have to focus or think too hard about anything. He knew conversation would be the last thing he’d have to worry about, but the truth was that for the first time in a long time he actually wanted to talk about what was going on. There was only one person he knew that he could really talk to about Cupid, though, and he couldn’t just call Joxer and ask him to come over.

It was Sunday night, he’d have school in the morning and he was all the way over in the village. Ares couldn’t ask him to get on the subway and come all the way to the Bronx just because he was having a lousy weekend. They were barely friends, and Joxer would probably just think Ares was even more pathetic for getting his phone number off the sign-up sheet for his karate class.

He was still telling himself not to do it when he went downstairs to find Joxer’s file, and when he got back upstairs with the phone number in hand he just sat on the couch and stared at it for awhile. He couldn’t call, it was too…something. Needy, maybe. Pathetic, definitely. But they had some kind of connection, a friendship anyway. And Joxer really was a good listener, which was really all Ares needed tonight. Drowning his feelings in casual sex with someone he didn’t care about hadn’t worked in the past, and he just wanted someone to tell him it was going to be okay. Telling Cupid that was one thing, but Ares couldn’t convince himself it was true. He wasn’t sure anyone could, but Joxer was the only person he knew that could even come close.

Finally he picked up the phone and dialed, struggling against the urge to hang up as soon as the phone rang. After two rings he told himself Joxer wasn’t even home, and he wasn’t sure whether or not to be relieved or disappointed. On the third ring the line connected, though, and Ares forgot how to talk when he heard Joxer’s voice on the other end of the line.

“Hello?”

When he realized it was the second time Joxer had said it Ares shook his head and prayed that his voice wouldn’t break. “Joxer? It’s…this is Ares.”

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line, and Ares squeezed his eyes shut as he waited for Joxer to make up some excuse as to why he couldn’t talk. His mind raced as he scrambled for some excuse, something he could tell Joxer about class or anything just to give him an excuse for calling. Before he came up with anything Joxer’s voice sounded in his ear again, softer this time but warmer somehow.

“Ares, hi. I’m glad you called.”

“You are?”

As soon as he realized he’d said it out loud Ares blushed from the tips of his fingers all the way to the roots of his hair, and he was glad Joxer couldn’t see him. He couldn’t take it back, though, so he cleared his throat and waited for Joxer to answer.

“I wanted to thank you again for Friday night. I had a really nice time.”

“Oh…right, me too,” Ares stammered, wincing at the sound of his voice as he tripped over his words. “I…uh…we should do it again sometime.”

“Ares, are you alright? You sound funny.”

“I do?” Ares rolled his eyes at himself as he listened to Joxer laugh on the other end of the line. Of course he did, only Joxer was being polite because the truth was that Ares sounded like a total moron. He smiled in spite of his mood and ran a hand over his face, letting out a soft sigh. “I guess I’m a little worn out. Cupid showed up unexpectedly this weekend and kind of dropped a bombshell on me.”

“Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know. I think so. Maybe. He’s pretty confused, although I might be even more confused than he is.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Ares knew Joxer would ask that eventually, it was the whole reason he’d called him in the first place. Somehow just hearing the question made him feel better. He wasn’t sure what that meant, but he decided not to try to figure out any more impossible questions that night. “Thanks, Joxer. It’s getting late and you’ve got work in the morning. I should let you go.”

“Tomorrow then. I can come by after school. I owe you dinner anyway.”

“Alright,” Ares heard himself answer before he even heard the end of the question. His heart was beating too fast suddenly, and it was hard to focus on the conversation. “The studio closes early on Mondays, so just ring the buzzer.”

“Sounds good. I’ve got a meeting tomorrow afternoon, but I should be done before 6:00. So I’ll see you then.”

Ares hung up the phone feeling lighter than he had all weekend. He was still worried about Cupid and what he was going to tell Dite, but somehow a few minutes of talking to Joxer made him feel better. He realized after he hung up that he’d never offered Joxer a reason for his call, but somehow it didn’t matter. In fact if he didn’t know better he would have thought Joxer was expecting him to call. He pushed that troubling thought as far back in his mind as he could get it and wandered into the kitchen to find something to eat, doing his best not to wonder what was going to happen on Monday night.

~

He was glad he’d remembered to fix the broken buzzer on Monday morning, because by the time Joxer showed up Ares was so engrossed in getting ready that he forgot to keep an eye out for him. The sound of the buzzer made him jump, and he dropped the spoon he’d been holding in the sink and hastily wiped his hands on the dish towel hanging from his waist. One more glance around the kitchen let him know that trying to tidy up in under 30 seconds was hopeless, so he gave up and dropped the towel on the counter before he ran down the stairs to the door that led directly up to the loft.

When he pulled the door open Joxer was staring down the street in the opposite direction, giving Ares a moment to admire his profile and stifle the initial rush of nerves that came along with seeing Joxer in person. Then Joxer turned toward him and smiled, and Ares felt his knees wobble for the first time in his life. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Ares echoed, stepping aside to let Joxer brush past him into the building. “How was your meeting?”

“It was mostly really dry budget talk,” Joxer answered, glancing over his shoulder at Ares as he climbed the stairs. “But if I don’t go and fight for funding they start leeching money from the music department to pay for new hockey equipment. This time I had to defend my budget against the impending danger of funding karate lessons for the seniors.”

“They want to cut your budget to pay my salary?”

Joxer laughed at the edge of defensive panic in Ares’ voice. “Relax, it’s just business. Even in private school the arts are the first budget to get pirated whenever someone comes up with a new program. I usually manage to hang onto my most important funding, it just means fundraising if I want to take the kids to see the orchestra next semester.”

“That hardly seems fair.”

“It’s one of those times I question my decision to teach, anyway,” Joxer said. As they reached the top of the stairs he stepped inside Ares’ apartment, his jaw dropping slightly as he took in the mess in the kitchen.

“I had all this food,” Ares said, heading toward the kitchen before he turned to grin nervously at Joxer. “I didn’t have anything in the house when Cupid showed up, so I went and picked some things up. I guess I overdid it a little because when he was gone I still had all this food. So I thought…I mean if you’d rather we could go out.”

“No, this is…wow, I had no idea you could cook.” Joxer’s gaze shifted from the mess in the kitchen to Ares again. “Another of your secrets?”

“Apparently.” Ares shrugged, but he couldn’t quite hide the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “One of the many things I picked up from my Aunt Hestia. My mother wasn’t much of a cook, but Hes was a magician in the kitchen. I used to spend hours just hanging around her house as a kid, I guess it rubbed off.”

Joxer closed the door and took a few steps further into the apartment, surveying the amount of food on the island at the center of the kitchen before he looked up at Ares again. “Cupid must have had a hell of a story to tell if you went this far overboard. He was only here for a weekend, right?”

“Actually he was only here for one night. I took him home yesterday afternoon,” Ares admitted, grinning sheepishly as he followed Joxer’s gaze to the mess on the counter. “I guess I overreacted a little. Something else I picked up from Aunt Hes; when there’s something wrong, make food.”

“I see.” Joxer set his briefcase down and pulled out one of the stools next to the island, trying and failing to find a relatively clean spot to rest his elbows before he continued. “Is everything okay? With Cupid, I mean.”

Ares let out a deep breath and leaned against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared back at Joxer. “He told me this weekend that he thinks he’s gay.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. He’s not exactly happy about it, obviously. I don’t know that I didn’t do more harm than good trying to convince him that it wasn’t the end of the world. He’s pretty sure his mother’s going to freak out when he tells her, and I’m not so sure she won’t.”

“Do you think it’s possible that he’s just trying to find a way to relate to you? You know how easily kids get confused, especially at his age.”

“I asked him that, told him not to jump to any conclusions before he gave himself time to think things through. He’s so smart, Joxer, sometimes I don’t even know how to talk to him. He just looked at me like I was crazy and asked me if I actually thought he’d choose to be gay.”

“What’d you say?”

“What could I say? I mean I couldn’t really argue with him, it’s not what I’d pick for him. It took me twenty years to finally admit the fact that I couldn’t choose to be straight. All he knows about being gay is how much pain it’s caused his family. And whatever those kids at his school are filling his head with, the whole reason he wants to move in here is because they’ve been teasing him about me.”

A sad smile tugged at the corners of Ares’ lips as he watched Joxer’s eyes fill with a mixture of sympathy and worry. “I can’t say I blame him. Poor kid, that’s gotta be hard to take from your friends.”

“I’m not really sure what to do about it,” Ares said. “There’s no way Dite would let him come live in the city, especially not if he comes out to her. And she’s got the courts in Jersey on her side. As far as the legal system’s concerned I’m an unstable influence in Cupid’s life.”

“Because you’re gay or because you’re single? Or have they just seen your loft?”

The joke and Joxer’s expression surprised a laugh out of Ares, and he was shocked to find that it made him feel a little better in spite of the dark mood that had fallen over him. Thinking about Cupid made him feel helpless, but Joxer had a way of putting things in a perspective that gave Ares hope that it really would work out. “I’m pretty sure I should be insulted by that.”

Joxer shrugged and schooled his features into an expression Ares was almost sure was deliberately wide-eyed and innocent. “Well I haven’t seen the whole place yet, so I shouldn’t make jokes.”

It was the ‘yet’ that gave Ares pause, and for a second he just stared back at Joxer as his words replayed over and over in Ares’ mind. It wasn’t an invitation, he told himself firmly. For all he knew Joxer was still making fun of him. “Well the rest of the place isn’t that much more inviting than this, I’m afraid. I always left the decorating to Dite. I put my foot down when it came to color, but that was about it. Although I’m glad I did, you should see the pink nightmare she’s got my kid living in now.”

“Well maybe she should take a good look at her décor before she starts placing blame for Cupid turning out gay,” Joxer said, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a grin as he watched Ares laugh. “Seriously, though, where does Cupid sleep when he’s here?”

Ares glanced in the direction of the couch, suddenly reluctant to admit aloud that his son didn’t have a bedroom in his apartment. Maybe the courts and Dite were right, because after two years his kid should have his own bed. Even if it was just a corner of the living room he could pull a curtain over; it wasn’t as though Ares hadn’t had time to build something to give Cupid a little privacy. Compared to him Dite’s house was the perfect place to raise a kid, even Ares had to admit that. “Oh my god, I’m a terrible father.”

“You’re not a terrible father,” Joxer said, drawing Ares’ attention to the fact that he’d said the words out loud. “Cupid knows you love him, and that’s the most important thing. So it’s taking you awhile to adjust to being single again, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“It’s been two years. Shouldn’t I have adjusted by now?”

Joxer shrugged again and stood up, rounding the island to pick up the potholders Ares had dropped on the counter when they started talking about Cupid. “I don’t think there’s a schedule,” he said as he pulled the oven open. “This roast is a different story, though. I think if we leave it in much longer we’ll be hunting for a takeout menu.”

“Shit, I completely forgot,” Ares said, rushing over to the oven in time to watch Joxer rescue the roast from certain doom.

“It looks perfect,” Joxer assured him as Ares frowned down at their dinner. “Smells fantastic, too. Is that horseradish?”

Ares nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as Joxer turned away to look for a knife. The whole scene felt strangely familiar, and although Ares couldn’t put his finger on why he decided that he kind of liked it. Just being in Joxer’s company was enough, even if they never did anything more than talk. He’d never had a friend he could talk to about whatever was on his mind, from Cupid to work to dating. He frowned automatically at the thought of talking to Joxer about dating, but he shook it off and told himself it would just take awhile to get used to the idea.

He looked over at Joxer again in time to catch Joxer scanning the room, biting his bottom lip as he tried to figure out where exactly Ares had planned on serving dinner. “Oh. I guess I’m more out of practice at this than I thought,” Ares said, smiling self-consciously when Joxer raised an eyebrow at him. “I don’t have a lot of guests, not for dinner anyway. Cupid and I usually just eat at the coffee table.”

“The coffee table it is, then,” Joxer answered, handing Ares a plate he didn’t even remember setting out before Joxer got there. Once he’d retrieved beers from the fridge he followed Joxer into the living room, careful not to sit too close to him on the couch. They fell into an oddly comfortable silence, broken only by Joxer’s occasional comments about Ares’ prowess in the kitchen. He nearly choked when Joxer wondered aloud about Ares’ other talents, and before he knew it Joxer’s hand was on his back, rubbing in slow circles as he waited for Ares to catch his breath.

“Are you okay?” Joxer asked when Ares stopped coughing.

Ares nodded and reached for his beer, taking a long drink before he turned to face Joxer again. “Swallowed wrong.”

“Hope it wasn’t something I said.”

He shook his head and set his beer down again, studying Joxer’s profile out of the corner of his eye as he tried to figure out what was going on. During the few weeks they’d known each other he’d spent a lot of time trying to figure out what exactly Joxer wanted from him. He wasn’t like any of the men Ares usually found himself involved with; most of them were pretty straightforward about what they wanted, and it generally didn’t involve intimate dinners and lengthy conversation. Ares had always been fine with that in the past, at least he thought he had. He hadn’t been looking for a relationship, anyway, but the more time he spent with Joxer the more he wondered if that was what they were doing.

A hot blush crept up his neck as he realized he didn’t even know the signals. Sometimes he was almost sure they were dating, which would make this date number…three, if he counted that first cup of coffee as their first date. Suddenly he wanted to count it, suddenly it seemed really important that the cup of coffee they’d shared counted as their first date. The only other person he’d ever officially dated was Dite, and that was way back in high school.

A frustrated sigh escaped his throat before he could stop it, drawing Joxer’s attention immediately. He glanced over at Joxer, swallowing hard when he registered the silent question in Joxer’s eyes. Somehow the fact that Joxer was unsure of what was going on just made him more nervous, and when Joxer’s hand came up to rest on his shoulder he felt his whole body tremble. The smaller man frowned thoughtfully as he watched Ares shudder, but instead of pulling his hand away he moved it up to rest on Ares’ neck.

“Joxer, I…” Ares trailed off and looked down at the cushion between them. “This is going to sound…I mean what are we doing here?”

He summoned up every ounce of willpower left in him and forced himself to look up at Joxer, his heart skipping a beat at the gentle smile that greeted him. “Whatever we want,” Joxer answered when their eyes met. “What do you want, Ares?”

Ares opened his mouth to answer, then closed it again when he realized there was no way he’d be able to form a coherent sentence out of all the thoughts racing through his brain. Instead of answering he reached out and tentatively brushed his fingers across Joxer’s jawline, swallowing a gasp when Joxer turned his face into the touch. Even as he leaned forward Ares wondered if he was making a mistake getting involved with someone that could affect him the way Joxer did, but as soon as their lips met he forgot to worry about the consequences. He forgot everything except the sensation of Joxer’s mouth moving under his, his free hand closing around the front of Joxer’s shirt to haul him closer.

He wasn’t consciously aware of what he’d done until Joxer was practically in his lap, his hands on Ares’ shoulders to brace himself as he returned the kiss. Ares slid one hand into Joxer’s hair, finally discovering that it really did feel as soft as it looked. His other arm slid around Joxer’s waist, tightening as though he was afraid Joxer was going to make a break for it. He’d never paid much attention to the mechanics of kissing before, it never seemed that important to kiss any of the men he’d been with in the past. Dite seemed to enjoy it, but he was usually so busy trying to convince himself he was attracted to her that he didn’t notice the details.

Kissing Joxer was a totally different experience than anything he’d ever done before. It was soft and gentle and intense and possessive all at once, and even though Ares wasn’t sure how that was possible he knew he’d never get enough of it. Even the taste of the kiss was all new to him, hints of roast and spices and beer mingled with the much different but instantly recognizable taste that was unique to Joxer. He’d never stopped to really notice all the sensations associated with a single kiss, and by the time Joxer pulled away to pant for breath Ares knew he was in way over his head.

His hand was still in Joxer’s hair, fingers moving of their own accord as he watched Joxer for a sign that he was going to change his mind. Ares wasn’t even sure whether or not he wanted Joxer to want to stay, if he was willing to risk what they already had on the off chance that they could have something even better. He wasn’t sure how he felt, and he didn’t know what to do with any of the strange emotions he felt whenever he thought about Joxer.

He thought maybe he should ask Joxer again what it was they were doing, maybe tell him that a kiss wasn’t really an answer to such an important question. The problem was that he didn’t know if it was as important to Joxer as it was to him, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to put into words exactly why it was so important to him. If he couldn’t explain it to himself how was he supposed to make someone else understand? The truth was he knew less about relationships than he did about how to help his son, and the one person that he might be able to talk to about it was the source of his current confusion.

He had to do something, though. He couldn’t just sit there and stare at Joxer for the rest of the night with his mouth hanging open. The words wouldn’t come, no matter how hard he tried to form some kind of coherent thought to make Joxer understand everything he was feeling. He just wasn’t any good at talking about these kinds of things, Dite had accused him of being insensitive for almost twenty years and now he knew why. There was no way he’d ever come up with the words to say any of it, so he did the one thing he knew how to do – he leaned forward and kissed Joxer again.

The kiss was different this time; needy and searching and fierce in a way that startled Ares even though he was the one doing the kissing. Joxer’s hands were in his hair, stroking softly as he made soothing noises low in his throat. He shifted against Ares, putting enough space between them to get ahold of the buttons on Ares’ shirt. As soon as Ares realized what he was doing he pulled back, his expression a mixture of lust and confusion as he watched Joxer’s fingers working his shirt open.

“How about you show me the rest of your place now,” Joxer said, his voice so soft that at first Ares was sure he’d imagined it. When he finally realized that Joxer was waiting for an answer he nodded jerkily and stood up, letting Joxer push his shirt down his shoulders to fall to the couch before he pulled Joxer into him again. Their lips met in an awkward clash of teeth, and somehow the sound of Joxer laughing against his mouth melted some of the tension out of Ares. He grinned but didn’t pull away, planting kisses along the smaller man’s jaw line as he backed them toward his bedroom.

Ares’ thighs hit the edge of his mattress, knocking him backwards and sending Joxer sprawling onto the bed half on top of him. He pushed himself up on his elbows in time to watch Joxer sit up, both of them breathless from trying to laugh and kiss at the same time. “Maybe it’s safer if I just do this myself,” Joxer said as he reached for the buttons of his shirt.

Ares opened his mouth to argue that it wasn’t completely his fault they’d hit the bed quite so hard, but as he watched the pale skin slowly being revealed by Joxer’s fingers he closed his mouth again. A lazy grin tugged at the corners of his mouth as he watched the show, his smile brightening when Joxer finally pulled the shirt completely off and tossed it behind him. As soon as the shirt was gone Ares sat up and reached for him, hooking one arm around his waist to haul him forward for another kiss. Joxer’s lips parted automatically under his, thin arms sliding around his neck as Ares lowered them to the mattress. Once he had Joxer pinned underneath him Ares pulled back, not quite managing to rein in a grin as he met Joxer’s gaze. “Feeling safer?”

“Much,” Joxer answered, matching Ares’ grin with one of his own. He craned his neck in an attempt to look around him. “This isn’t so bad. Nicer than the living room, anyway.”

Ares grumbled something that sounded a little like ‘smart ass’ as he leaned forward, taking advantage of Joxer’s distraction to nuzzle the newly exposed skin covering his throat.

“Hey…Christ, Ares…wait a second…” Joxer panted, fingers clutching at his hair as he tried to ignore Ares’ mouth on his skin long enough to form a coherent thought.

As soon as he heard the word ‘wait’ Ares tensed, and the only thing that stopped him from getting up and moving to a safe distance was Joxer’s grip on his hair. “I thought…”

“I didn’t mean stop,” Joxer said, his grip on Ares tightening reflexively. “It’s probably going to sound stupid, but I have this rule.” Ares raised his eyebrows curiously, but he relaxed enough to settle back onto his elbows and wait for Joxer to go on. “It’s because of the school, the church has rules and anyway teenage boys can be merciless if they find something to tease you about. Hence the rule.”

“Joxer, just tell me your rule.”

“No hickeys above the collarbone,” Joxer said. He shrugged as well as he could while he was pinned down by the much larger body sprawled on top of him, grinning sheepishly as he listened to Ares laugh. “I told you it was going to sound stupid.”

“Makes sense to me,” Ares said when his laughter subsided. “Although I’d love to see their faces when you told them who you got it from.”

“You’re not trying to get me fired, are you?”

“Definitely not,” Ares answered sincerely. His smile faded as he leaned forward again, pressing his lips to Joxer’s for a soft, lingering kiss. His hands moved across Joxer’s skin, starting at his shoulders and moving down his sides to grip his hips. Joxer thrust against him, evoking a low groan from Ares. His fingers dug into the fabric of Joxer’s pants as they tried to get even closer together. When Joxer pulled away to gasp for air Ares turned his attention back to his exposed neck, planting soft kisses down the curve of his shoulder. When he reached Joxer’s collarbone he pressed his lips to the pale skin, lingering for a moment before he pulled back to look down at the smaller man.

“So here’s okay?’ he asked, raising an eyebrow as he brushed his fingers over the spot where his lips had been.

For a second Joxer looked confused, then he realized what Ares meant and a slow grin spread across his face. When he nodded Ares smiled and leaned forward again, planting another kiss on the spot before he moved further down Joxer’s chest. “And here?” he asked when he reached the bottom of Joxer’s rib cage. He looked up in time to watch Joxer nod again, smiling at the way his eyelids fluttered when Ares’ fingers ghosted over his stomach.

“What about here?” he asked, his thumb moving in slow circles just above Joxer’s pelvic bone.

“Not there,” Joxer gasped, reaching down and catching Ares’ hand. His eyes snapped open, the lust and affection tempered by a sudden rush of panic.

An almost feral grin tugged at the corners of Ares’ mouth as he gently shook his hand out of Joxer’s and flattened his palm over the spot in question. “Don’t tell me you’re ticklish.”

“Don't, Ares, I mean it,” Joxer said, but his voice was already laced with amusement.

”Is that another one of your rules?”

“Only if it needs to be,” Joxer answered as seriously as he could manage while Ares was looming over him. He cocked his head to one side and smiled. “You know you look a little like one of those cartoon villains when you look at me like that.”

"Why do I have the feeling I've just been insulted again?" Ares asked. He slid off Joxer and rolled onto his side, pulling Joxer along with him until they were face to face again.

"It wasn't an insult. Villians are always dashing and clever, and they usually have the best clothes and all those cool toys that blow things up…"

Ares silenced him with a kiss, his hands dipping between them to ease Joxer's zipper down. He smiled as Joxer moaned against his mouth and released his lips, pulling back far enough to watch Joxer's eyelids flutter. He worked one hand past Joxer's open zipper, stroking Joxer's cock through his underwear. The needy whimpers escaping Joxer's throat made his own cock twitch, and he sat up long enough to tug Joxer's pants off.

Once he'd tossed Joxer's pants on the floor he crawled over him again, one knee on either side of his legs as he leaned forward and inhaled the scent of arousal through the thin layer of cotton still stretched over his straining cock. Joxer's breathing grew more erratic as Ares reached down to cup his balls through his underwear, gently stroking as he leaned down and let out a hot breath on the damp spot at the front of the material. Joxer's hips bucked instinctively as warm lips closed around the tip of his cock, a tongue darting out to tease him through the cotton.

Strong fingers threaded through Ares' hair as he pulled back enough to slide a hand inside Joxer's underwear. He gripped Joxer's cock gently as he pushed the material over his hips with his other hand, pushing them as far down Joxer's thighs as he could get them before he turned his attention back to the hardness still gripped in his hand. He took his time exploring the way Joxer tasted, the weight of his cock on Ares' lips and the spots that made Joxer's hips buck just a little more wildly. When the fingers in his hair tightened and Joxer's erratic breathing shifted to shallow panting Ares sped up, taking as much of Joxer's length as he could and swallowing around it.

"Ares," Joxer gasped, and Ares looked up long enough to watch Joxer's eyes widen. He'd never paid much attention to whatever his partners mumbled during sex, but something about the almost reverent way Joxer said his name made his heart clench painfully in his chest. He closed his eyes against the sensation and sped up a little more, using his tongue to bring Joxer just to the edge before he clamped a hand around the base of his cock and waited for him to calm down again.

When he felt the body underneath him tense and the fingers in his hair digging almost painfully into his scalp he eased off until only the tip of Joxer's cock was resting against his lips, wrapping his hand around Joxer's length to coax his orgasm out of him. Joxer came with a startled gasp, hot moisture hitting Ares' tongue. He rolled the new flavor around on his tongue as he pulled back to look down at Joxer, his strokes slowing as the last of Joxer's orgasm wracked his body.

When he stopped shaking Joxer opened his eyes again, reaching up to pull Ares back down on top of him. A tortured moan escaped Ares' throat as his hardness pressed into Joxer's thigh, his hips thrusting forward automatically. Their lips met in a frenzied kiss, lust and need making Ares thrust blindly against the body underneath his. He felt a hand slip between them to slide past his waistband and close around his aching erection, stroking slowly in spite of his efforts to get Joxer to speed up.

"We need some protection," Joxer gasped when he tore his mouth away from Ares'. "I'll go, just tell me where."

Ares tried to focus on the question, his mind racing as he tried to remember where he was and what Joxer was talking about. Finally a coherent thought penetrated the lust-induced fog in his head and he let Joxer push him back onto the mattress, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the bathroom. "Top…top drawer. There's…in the…"

A soft chuckle and a kiss pressed against his temple let him know that Joxer understood what he was trying to spit out. "I'll be right back, don't go anywhere."

It felt like hours later when Joxer crawled onto the mattress next to him again, but Ares barely had time to fumble out of his pants before he found himself being pushed back onto the mattress again. It hadn't been that long since he'd done this, but it had been a long time since he'd wanted someone as much as he wanted Joxer. He wasn't sure if it was the unexpectedness of finding himself in bed with Joxer, or just the fact that he genuinely liked Joxer. Either way he was having a hard time focusing, and when he felt a practiced hand roll the condom over his aching cock it was all he could do not to come from that touch alone.

He forced his eyes open in time to watch Joxer squeeze a little lube on his fingers and spread it over the condom, then he pushed himself up onto his knees and straddled Ares' lap. Joxer leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Ares' parted lips before he straightened up and gripped Joxer's cock again, his gaze locked with Ares' as he sank onto his length. A tortured moan escaped Ares' throat as he found himself surrounded by tight heat, Joxer's muscles contracting around him as he took Ares as deep as he could. He paused when Ares was all the way inside, his head thrown back and his lips slighted parted as he adjusted to the stretch. Before Ares had time to wonder how he'd lost control of the situation Joxer was moving again, pulling almost all the way off Ares before he sank back down.

A sharp gasp escaped his throat as the tip of Ares' cock made contact with his prostate, making Joxer’s spent cock twitch as a shudder rolled through his body. The muscles gripping Ares contracted against him, and he groaned as he twisted the sheets into a tangle of wrinkles under his hands. Joxer slammed down hard a second time, then a third and over and over until Ares finally lost count. All he knew was the delicious, relentless heat gripping him and quivering around his cock with each thrust. His hips thrust in search of even more, hands moving over every inch of Joxer's skin that he could reach as he tried to encourage Joxer to move faster.

Joxer took the hint almost immediately, his whole body flushed with effort. Later Ares would remember thinking that the sight of Joxer like that was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. He'd never say that to Joxer or anyone else, of course, but in that moment he meant it without question. As soon as the thought formed Joxer's gaze locked with his, and Ares tensed and thrust up convulsively as he came deep inside Joxer. The orgasm shook every part of his body; even his teeth rattled with the force of it, and he barely registered when Joxer pulled off him with a small hiss. He felt the condom being carefully removed, then a shift on the mattress as Joxer got up to toss it in the trash. The next thing he was aware of was the mattress dipping again as Joxer returned, then warm lips feathering kisses against his temple as fingers carded through his sweat-dampened hair.

"That was…"

A soft chuckle made his already racing heart skip, and he was sure he'd have a heart attack before Joxer was through with him. Slowly he remembered how to work his eyelids, blinking them open to find Joxer resting on one elbow as he stared back at Ares. "Yeah, it was," Joxer finished for him, smiling affectionately to match Ares' weary grin.

"So I guess this is the part where one of us asks if we can see the other again."

"I'll see you again in two days. Karate class, remember?"

Ares scowled at Joxer's mischievous expression, embarrassment tempering his confusion about the status of their new relationship. "You know what I meant."

Joxer's expression softened instantly, and he dropped back onto the pillow next to Ares to study his face. "You're serious."

"If you don't want to just say so," Ares said, defensiveness creeping into his tone as he wondered if anyone had actually ever died of humiliation. He was terrible at this dating business, that much was obvious. The fact that Joxer hadn't noticed that yet was a miracle, but there was no hiding it from him now.

"Are you kidding me? Ares, of course I want to. What have we been doing for the past few weeks?"

Ares looked away as heat crept up his neck, humiliation making him want to lash out much the same way Cupid had been doing to him lately. "I thought we were being friends," he admitted. "But this isn't exactly something friends do."

Fingers carded through his hair again but he resolutely refused to turn and look at Joxer. "Look, Ares, I like you. If you want to stick to friendship…well I guess we should have talked about it before…but the point is I have feelings for you. Feelings that aren't just going to go away, especially now. Maybe I should have been up front from the start, but to tell you the truth I wasn't really sure if you were interested."

“You weren’t sure if I…why would you think I wasn’t interested?” Ares asked, his embarrassment forgotten as he finally turned to look at Joxer.

“Well I practically had to throw myself at you to get you to do anything,” Joxer answered, his shy grin returning as he watched Ares frown in confusion. “Besides, you’ve been preoccupied with Cupid and I didn’t want to make things any more complicated for you.”

“I wasn’t sure either. I mean about what you wanted from me,” he added quickly. For a long moment he studied Joxer’s features, his mind racing as he tried to come to terms with what was happening. When it did sink in he let out a heavy sigh and fell back onto the mattress, eyes wide as he stared up at the ceiling. “You have no idea what you’re getting into.”

“I think I can handle it,” Joxer said, his voice laced with amusement.

Ares frowned as he turned his head to look at Joxer again. “I don’t know anything about…this. “ He gestured vaguely between them with one hand, his heart clenching as Joxer reached out and caught it with his own.

“You’re doing okay so far.”

“Sex, sure. But everything else…I haven’t even gone on a date since high school. I mean besides…” He trailed off with a blush, staring down at their entwined hands where they rested against his chest. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“How do you feel? I mean do you even want this?”

How he felt – that was a question he hadn’t even been able to answer for himself, but when he looked at Joxer a surge of conflicting emotions flooded his senses and made it hard to focus. Fear, anticipation, lust, affection, and a hectic, breathless feeling he couldn’t put a name to that made him want to pull Joxer into his arms and never let him go. It was the first time in his life he’d ever felt that out of control and he had no idea what it meant. The only thing he knew for sure was that he wanted Joxer in his life and in his bed for as long as he could keep him there. “I…yes. God, yes, I want…us.”

It wasn’t until Joxer laughed and leaned forward to press another kiss to his lips that Ares realized he was grinning like a six-year-old on Christmas morning. The idea that there was an ‘us’ to worry about was so new to him that he wasn’t even sure where to start. As soon as Joxer pulled back to grin at him he decided not to worry about it until he had to, though. He wasn’t going to worry about Cupid and his problems with Dite or anything else that night, not the strange new feelings he was having or what any of them meant. He was just going to enjoy someone else’s company for the first time in a long time and hope that this time he’d actually get it right.


End file.
